Happiness is so easy (or am I just closing my eyes to all the ugliness of the world?)

In 2017, I chatted one on one in private with my celebrity crush who accepted my friend request. He told me in private he just broke up with his girlfriend. (Nobody is reading this so I shall confess a little secret here) I sent him screenshots of all the pictures I captioned using his lyrics and we even chatted using pseudo Javascript. 

How many fans get this kind of opportunity for a private consultation FOR FREE with their idols? If you wish to chat one on one you gotta pay a really hefty price for that? And even if you have the financial capabilities, you may or may not get chosen cos it's all based on whether your balloting gets through? So yes, with my wit (in self studying coding) and bravery (in plucking up the courage to initiate a chat) yes I got to talk to him online. 

In 2018, something out of the ordinary just came crashing down on me. Just as I thought life could not get any better, my fantasy continued well into 2018, this time with a real life version of my celebrity crush who appeared in the form of an online dating match. He just walked out of the screen, and hugged me in his arms. How soft and fluffy (: 

In 2017, I took on so many university students from private institutions. I thought it was a one off thing, like a rare bumper year. 

And in 2018, the influx of university students just skyrocketed. I had to pinch myself to remind that this is all real. Furthermore, I had students from NUS and SMU flocking to me. Not just Kaplan and RMIT you know. Proper tier one university courses. 

In 2018, one of my wildest fantasies came true. I REALLY started teaching CMFAS. I did not know there is a market for such papers until 2018 opened my eyes to one pleasant surprise after another. Not one, but TWO students. Yes, people want CMFAS tuition. 

In 2017, I visited Tokyo for the first time in my life. I experienced a magical winter in Disneyland. I went to Johor Bahru and stayed over for one night. 

In 2018, I visited Bangkok and got two really versatile dresses for my tuitions( suitable for the office too!) I visited Batam on a really last minute impromptu trip (the other girl who planned with me was an ESTP so the P stands for spontaneous rather than planned) I sat on an inflatable flamingo float for the first time. (And I took the ferry for the 3rd time in my life, haha!)

In 2017, I worked at a reputable tuition centre. For one class.

In 2018, I worked at a neighbourhood tuition centre but I took on so many classes. JC level. (2017 was secondary two only!) 

In 2017, my music collection was flooded with happy songs that brought me so much joy. TFBoys, come on you make me so happy every time! And also the songwriter behind TFBoys! 

In 2018, I got sucked into an amazing vortex of new songs and new experiences due to the real life version of my celebrity crush who just walked out of the screen. I dove headfirst into ancient civilisations (if you managed to find this page, congrats! yes! you and your fascination with civilisation and war!), the phantom of the opera, and all sorts of random trivia knowledge. In return, I actually told him only certain chinese translations of maths terms do make sense, like FACTORIAL.

In 2018, I caught the movie "more than blue" with university friends and much to my disappointment, I did not shed a single tear because I think I knew about the downright surprising plot twist all along. No, I did not read the spoilers, but it seems to me that someone wasnt aware that someone else knew all along and had been just playing along with it? Else why would she look so unnatural and act in such a way? She must have known it all along, hmmm? 

The Great Tuition Revolution 2017 -2018

I realised that in my haste to type everything in a stream of consciousness with no edits in between, I missed out on plenty of information in my previous post.

Let me try to organise my thoughts and refrain from jumbling up all my random ideas floating around and popping out of nowhere.

These past two years have been a rollercoaster ride of endless excitement, joy, pleasant surprises and bliss. I am going up, up , up without knowing how high I can even go. I catch my breath, pause, and BOOM! Another bundle of joy (not in the human baby sense) comes tumbling into my arms. Catch it, a voice in my head screams, catch it when it comes! And so I did.

You think the tuition industry features someone getting a text from an agent, dictating where she should go to meet her  next adolescent buried beneath ten year series assessment books? Well that used to me in the past, but all of a sudden, two crucial things have changed:

1) My students are above 18. They are taking business and accounting degrees in public and private universities in Singapore. They need help with a certain module.
2) You do not even need a middleman helping you to coordinate the workflow. You can set up an Instagram page and boom! People google tuition, find you, and ask you. Directly. Yes. That is how the world works now. I am by no means an entrepreneur or businesswoman yet but I feel like one. Wow. WOW. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My managerial accounting was good at some areas (variable costing/ activity based costing) and exceptionally poor in other areas (transfer pricing? oh no!) but luckily for me, the managerial accounting taught in private universities such as Kaplan and SIM featured nothing but my favourite topics while entirely skipping my inept ones. So yes, bingo! Bring it on, let me teach you, tertiary students of Kaplan!

Financial accounting is pretty standard, I always get B+ or A- for them. Never too low. I think I was born an INTP but all the follow-do-follow-do mindsets in business school is transforming my mind into an ISTP. You know bond amortisation tables? Yeah, you do not need adcanced calculus for that, you just follow the instructions like a factory line assembly worker follows a set routine. See, do, see do, until you remember everything. You know all the finance lease payment schedules? It is nothing like creative problem solving you see under jC Maths, you just look, do, look, do, what the hell. Really, it is like that one. See la, from INTP go and become ISTP.

I have two financial accounting students from SMU this year, and one financial accounting from SIM last year. SIM syllabus was quite basic, and the SMU syllabus contains higher level stuff you need a financial calculator for. Stuff like lease payments, bond amortisation schedules are really torturing the young minds of SMU freshmen (yes, they learn in year one, gosh!) and I am trying to help.

As for CMFAS professional exams, I have been approached for tuition in that. Yes, working adults in CBD area are flocking to me for tuition. I used all sorts of funny mnemonics to enable my students to remember stuff. While financial accounting requires a stiff upper lip and a no-nonsense approach that suppresses my vivid imagination, it is definitely alright to let loose and be INTP for a while when I teach CMFAS.

How to remember that covered call is a  bullish strategy? (M9A)
How I teach my students to remember: A Bull charges to the bathroom while you take a shower. You are freaked out so you faster cover your body and call your husband. Thats why is called covered call.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

How to remember that you need to have 5 years of working experience, of which 3 years are in the managerial capacity if you are on the board of a financial advisory company? (M5)

Got one chinese idiom called  三五成群 so here you go, got the 3 got the 5. woohoooo.

More and more opportunities

I always thought that JC and secondary school tuition markets are booming with demand but it has come to my attention that polytechnic and university students are in dire need of academic help too! This is interesting. In 2015, I started with my first managerial accounting student from SIM.

In 2016, a sharp rise in the number of university students was seen. I took 6? I thought it was a bountiful harvest (at that point in time) but please check out what happened thereafter.

In 2017, I had a record number of 13 university students. That number is sheer amazing, because who would imagine a whole bunch of tertiary students coming forth for tuition? I had students from RMIT, Kaplan, and SIM. Wow, just wow.

I had no idea that 2018 hasn't even finished, and I am already on to my 12th student. Some were repeat customers from 2017 (you should always retain your customers, customer retention is far more important than new customer acquisition, really!) and some were new.

To top off the novelty, let me tell you that I welcomed my first CMFAS student in 2018. A Japanese national with kids, 10 years my senior. She was trying to pass her CMFAS modules.

And as fate would have it, in September 2018, another CMFAS student came sliding into my Instagram direct message requesting for a public meet up at Starbucks (okay my idea actually, I didnt want to go to his house) to study for CMFAS.

Do you still need agents? Looks like the demand for middlemen is decreasing, cos anyone can just come to you via Instagram if you brand yourself properly as some kind of CMFAS guru.

I never had tuition students who directly find me (without peer to peer introduction) until 2018. I have no idea how technology has evolved so much that customers can now hit me up directly in person. What on earth is going on.........................

Interestingly, while 2017 brought me RMIT and Kaplan, 2018 brought me SMU. Yes, a tier one university in Singapore. I have 3 students from SMU this year. Two need help in financial accounting and one needs help with essay writing and vocabulary. ALl three are born and bred Singaporeans, while 2017 brought me mainly foreign students on student passes.

I worked at CASCO tuition centre in 2017, teaching English. In 2018, my ex student from 2 years ago referred me to another centre where her mum works, and ta-dah, I have a new centre to work for. I teach secondary school principle of acounting and she went from F9 to C5 this time. Ok la, a jump in 4 grades.

AND GUESS WHAT?

Her school made me sign on her exam script. Now not just parents signature, tutor also must sign. What sorcery is this??????? TIMES HAVE CHANGED. I feel like I am living in some kind of fantasy world where unicorns fly above rainbows HAHAHAH.

Random things that make me happy

So many things bring joy to my life. So many things make me happy. Isn't life simply awesome?

1. The availability of ice kosong (i.e. iced water) from hawker centres makes life so much easier. I am petty prone to thirst so having plain water to drink is great.

2. I tried the Toast Box iced milk tea with no sugar (still tasted sweet anyway). Well blended. Homogeneous. A 10/10 from me here.

3. Sheng Siong is a good place to get groceries cos you get a 5% discount on the POSB everyday card.

4. I got a new music streaming app on my phone and it is none other than.....(no no, not spotify) MUSIC FM! You find all sorts of exotic songs (unavailable on spotify cos those songs are so mainstream!) which you download on your device and listen offline. No data required. Super awesome.

5. I am so happy cos I get to cook at home then bring the food out. For huge eaters like me this is a better idea cos whose wallet can sustain 3 full bowls of noodles every single lunch?

6. I love being able to get cheap and good masks from innisfree and etude house...... I tried their tea tree masks to combat acne and my red dots are getting smaller. Tea tree smells different. You don't smell flowers or fruits, you smell antiseptic. That is when I know I am getting the real deal. Medicated masks you see.

7. EVERYBODY FIND YOUR OWN HAPPINESS ^^

I will be happy!

Say it loud and say it clear. Repeat it to yourself so many times that a wild manifestation happens and the universe sends hoards of good luck and happiness on your way.

Say it with conviction, loud and clear. Say it with pride and confidence.

I will understand the answer soon.

I will figure out how "full" truly means to a normal person with a small appetite. I will eventually reach the mystical stage where I am " so full that I cannot walk". Now it's a pretty faraway fantasy because I myself have personally never even felt "full" no matter how much I eat. How to reach the mysterious stage where I get "too full to move"? What on earth is that.....paradise?

I will pack my schedule to the fullest. Yeap, FULL FULL FULL!

I will fly high like a kite on a windy afternoon. I will spread my beautiful wings and SOAR! As I flap my wings, I will take flight over all the unknown territory and bask in the warm glow of the amber sun.

I will be happy! I will be super duper mega happy!

HAPPY!

"The world is not a wish granting factory" - The fault in our stars

It's nobody fault (yeah it's the stars' fault, pun intended) that the world is not a wish granting factory.

Just like how my images on Instagram are super saturated, I sincerely hope to make my life saturated with colour too. What do you see on Instagram? Beautiful things. Beautiful experiences such as crimson-red sunsets, prussian blue pools, azure blue skies, and golden specks of the liquid molten sun as it goes down the horizon. These are not what I feel in my daily life. These are what I WISH to experience but don't.

A certain INFP acquaintance I know was listening to a beautiful wedding song she's going to play for her upcoming wedding, and she started tearing. I bet she won't remain dry-eyed on her big day, seeing how she was so moved by the sheer beauty of her best friend's wedding that she, as a wedding guest, bawled her beautiful eyes out watching her march down the aisle. Well, go ahead and let emotions take over then. I applaud you for that. To have a soft heart in a cruel world is a strength, not a weakness!

Obviously, INTJs love to try. So out of curiosity, I did search for her song.

No, not a single tear. I understand the lyrics but they are not emotional enough to make me tear like she did. I don't know how to leap into a deep pool of pure emotion and just bathe in it. I crave that emotional depth and intensity, but it's not coming to me.

So yes, that INFP friend is experiencing love in technicolour. Thinking of the sheer beauty of love, the sheer beauty of marriage and all the romance in her life sensitises her heart to feelings. She is so receptive to hidden nuances of emotion that even a simple wedding song can make her tear up. This shows that she has felt love before. If you haven't felt love before, how would you understand what it's like?

She, as an INFP, sees the crimson-red sunsets, prussian blue pools, azure blue skies, and golden specks of the liquid molten sun as it goes down the horizon. (Yes, plagiarism check please. I copied from one of my previous paragraphs). She has seen the best side of herself in wedding gowns, and in the realm of dating. She lives and breathes a world full of life and love. And hope.

I'm not an INFP. Although I fantasise about being one. I'm neither an INFP nor an INFJ, but seeing the world behind such introverted emotional lenses would enable me to amp up on the saturation factor. Not that I'm in any way fierce, mean or harsh, but I don't feel as much as I wish I could.

She's not the only one whose heart has experienced the most intense, the most passionate of all feelings. There are countless INFPs and INFJs in this world whose tear-drenched eyes have seen the most beautiful of things which laymen like us can't see. They are capable of viscerally and deeply feeling the emotions behind each love song.

Because they have been loved before.


No INFP or INFJ is able to give me a precise instruction pamphlet stating how to achieve such emotional states like how you press the buttons on a rice cooker to make it work. Nobody is able to do that. The world is not a wish granting factory. Emotions are not gift boxes wrapped in dainty pink ribbons for display in shop windows, with shop assistant quoting a price for you. Such experiences are not available for sale. You don't pay a price and bring the whole gift box home and unwrap it to your delight. No, it does not work that way.

As a teaching ENFJ, I don't believe that " It's either you get it or you don't", because learning can play a huge role in determining where you end up. I believe in upward mobility. Clearly, there must be a way. There has to be.

Although INFPs can't teach me, this semi ENFJ-INTJ amalgam, the route to success, I can figure out the way by myself. What does the INFP feel every day? Prior to feeling the beautiful swells of emotion upon listening to wedding songs, and watching her best friend get married, she must have felt a myriad of little things before she even got here.

She must have felt how it's like to hold a guy's hand and stroll down Orchard Road, how it's like to have midnight talks while lying comfortably in her boyfriend's arms, how it's like to have body contact with the opposite sex. She must have understood (instinctively?) how to have her first kiss (under the moonlight or otherwise) , how to have all the subsequent kisses, how to french kiss, how to engage in heavy petting, and what erotic love can give her that simple platonic friendship cannot. She understands love.

I bet she can feel what I don't, simply because she has done what I haven't. My mantra that "love is emotional and not physical" has probably (?) destroyed my life. I ruined my life all on my own.

I see INFPs and INFJs who leap into a gigantic whirlpool of feelings. And I exclaim to myself, "having feelings is so beautiful". I say to myself, "feelings are what make life worth living". But if thats the case, why am I not doing what is needed to give myself feelings? Can you do something like she did? Can I replicate the hand-holding, the kissing, the heavy petting, and the final act of mating? Can I open a new door to an alternate reality by doing the above?

If I continue to act like a nun, I will never feel the sheer beauty of a wedding. I will never bawl my eyes out over love songs or weddings. Because I'm not fully understanding romantic love in all its glory.

There's a way to become an INFP. There definitely is. Nobody is responsible for giving me feelings. I am the role one in charge. I must give myself feelings.

Living Life to the Fullest

A certain government scholar really hit the nail on the head when she proclaimed how her life motto is to "live life to the fullest" on her social media pages. I have never seen such a statement which so accurately depicts my personal motto in life (which sometimes goes unsaid) . Her instagram bio reads "Love hard and live fully" while her facebook bio reads "I love life, and I live it to the fullest". Let me now exclaim in bright and bold caps lock: YES I AGREE WITH YOU! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

Full. Such a beautiful word. Full is so beautiful. (no pun intended)

I definitely appear to be living it up with a fully packed schedule filled with JC/University tuition classes. (Yes, there is actually a huge market for professional papers/university tuition, but only for the niche and the elite.) But am I truly living life to the fullest?